You, Me and Us. Page 9

Silence. Again.

  “So, do you feel better?” you asked.

  “Yeah, I do thanks.” I said.

  “Good.” You said. “Tom and Ryan said when they left that you were out of it on the couch.”

  “Well first rule of the new flat is; don’t take cigarettes from your mum. Ever.” I said.

  You laughed. Then he laughed as well. This seemed to remind you that he was here with us.

  “Jimmy, this is Daniel. Daniel, Jimmy.”

  Daniel leant over and shook my hand. He gripped it in the manly way men do when they shake hands for the first time.

  “Yeah, we met, earlier didn’t we? You’re the paint guy!” Daniel said.

  “The what?” you said.

  “I have no idea.” I shrugged.

  He laughed again. A loud booming laugh as if he was trying to let everyone know how much of a great time he was having. His laugh was still ringing in my ears causing my groggy brain to burn when my synapses began to work again. I started to think about his name. Daniel… Daniel… Daniel….

  “Daniel as in?” I asked, looking to you and to him. I already knew the answer.

  “As in what?” you asked, knowing the question.

  “You two, went out yeah?”

  And right on cue came yet another loud laugh from good old Daniel filled the balcony causing the cast of Home and Away to stop and wonder what the noise was.

  “Ah, well not really went out, we spent most of our time inside.” He said with a smirk.

  I wasn’t sober enough to fully understand that statement so I just stood with my mouth open looking at him.

  “Yeah we went out for a bit.” You said cutting the silence.

  “Great.” I said. “So… Daniel?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Just Daniel, is it? Not Dan, Danny, Danbo?” I asked.

  “Danbo?” you said.

  “No no just Daniel.” Daniel said. “It was Danny when I was younger, but I think when you get past eight years old then nick names are just a bit childish.”

  “I don’t know, I’ve always enjoyed being called big dick.” I said.

  Daniel upped the ante now by not just laughing to the highest decibel but also slapping me on the back. Hard.

  “Ah good one Jimmy.” He said, wiping very real tears from his eyes. “You didn’t say he was funny.” He said to you.

  “Man of many talents me, mate.” I said.

  The conversation seemed to reach its natural conclusion there and we all stood around in silence for a few moments almost daring each other to make a move. I was exhausted. But not for one second was I considering going to bed. I decided to show I was in it for the long haul by pulling a cigarette out and lighting it.

  “Well I best be off.” Daniel said.

  Yes, I win.

  “Nice to meet you mate.” I said with a smile.

  “You too pal.” He said with that winning grin. “Erin, can you let me out downstairs with your fob please?”

  Fuck.

  “Yeah ok.” You dutifully trotted after him as he swept into the living room without a glance my way.

  Once I knew I was alone again I kicked the wall of the balcony. My toes stung with pain but I didn’t care. Why the fuck was he here? I took a deep drag on my cigarette. Didn’t you hate him? He messed you around didn’t he? I slammed my fist on the top of the balcony. Fucks sake. What was going on? I breathed my smoke out like a bull ready to charge at a matador. I began to glare out onto the Manchester skyline. Fuck this place. I took more drags of my cigarette before it was almost finished. Why the fuck was it taking you so long to walk him downstairs? I stubbed my cigarette out and headed into the living room.

  For half a second I considered walking downstairs to see what was going on, but I didn’t. Partly because I thought it was crazy but also because I was scared about what I might find. I shoved the bedroom door open, jumped into bed, pulled the covers up over my head and rolled away from the door. I felt sick. Sick with weed, whiskey and worry. What a stupid idea, I didn’t even want to throw this party and look what had happened. I sighed. I closed my eyes and decided that sleep would probably be the best remedy for it all, hopefully this would all just be a bad weed dream. I felt myself drift off. Our door slammed shut and snapped my eyes open.

  “Whazzit?” I turned around.

  You jumped into bed with me and kicked the covers around to make yourself comfy. A few choice kicks connected with my shins.

  “Ow!” I shouted.

  “Move then.” You said.

  “Ask me then.”

  You pulled the covers over your head, and turned away from me.

  “I don’t know why you’re in a mood with me.” I said.

  “Well, have you put your cock away yet?”

  “What?” I looked down to check, but it was dark and I was still baked.

  “From your giant dick-swinging contest with Daniel. “

  “Me? It was him. He’s the dick.”

  “No, you’re both dicks. Acting like idiots both of you. It was like a nature show, I was expecting Attenborough to appear at any moment.”

  “Well, what the fuck was he doing here?”

  “He’s my friend!”

  “He’s your ex.”

  You turned around and I saw the flash of danger in your eyes.

  “And? So, he can’t be my friend?”

  “Well you said he messed you around, why would you want him to be your friend?”

  “Yeah and you know how he messed me around? By getting super jealous all the time of all my friends. Following me around and always checking up on me. Getting angry about every guy who so much as passed me in the street. Sound familiar?”

  “Well, no I wouldn’t check up on you or, that’s not what I mean, I’m not jealous.”

  “Sounds like it, and looks like it. You had a right face on you when you came on the balcony.”

  “Yeah because my girlfriend was alone with some guy, giggling like a school girl.”

  “So, you don’t trust me?”

  “Yes, course I do, I just don’t trust him.”

  “So even if he wants to have sex with me, can he? He can just have sex with me and I have no say in it?”

  “Well no.”

  “Right well shut up then.”

  And with that you turned away and went silent. I felt ashamed. Why had I reacted like that? Maybe it was the weed. I just didn’t like you being alone with him. Something about him rubbed me the wrong way. But I guess you were right. I felt bad. I leaned over to give you a hug and a kiss but you nudged me off.

  Bollocks.

  Chapter Seven- The Opening Salvo

  It took a good few days for you to let me out the doghouse. I spent plenty of time tip-toeing around you with a sullen expression, and using low tones. Eventually you started to let me inch closer and closer to you each night. I made tea for us every night and our flat looked like the spot of a nasty hit-and-run due to all the flowers I’d bought you. I did genuinely feel bad for the way I’d reacted the night of the party. In those days following the night I thought a bit more about why I’d been so jealous and angry. I came around to the idea that it was a combination of Daniel’s personality, how he looked and Julie’s ridiculously strong weed. So really, I wasn’t to blame. I made sure not to mention Daniel to you and you didn’t bring him up either as you began to unfreeze and warm back up to me.

  The weekend after the party we were booked in to play a gig at our old student union for Fresher’s Week. During our rehearsal, I was struck by an idea, which would hopefully land me, back in the good books with you.

  “This is Erin’s idea, isn’t it?” said Ryan after I voiced my suggestion.

  “What? No. Why would you say that?” I said.

  “Because she said that thing about us not being a ‘real band’.” He made the speech marks with his fingers when he said real band.

  “I told you she didn’t mean it like that.”

  “She did, and now you
want us to play originals.”

  “And?”

  “It’s not our style.”

  “Course it is, its cheesy, it’s upbeat, it’s exactly the sort of thing we already play!”

  “But we’re a cover band!”

  “Jim, what’s the tune?” said Tom, being as diplomatic as always.

  “It’s easy enough, it’s hmmm hmm hmmm hm hmmm.”

  “What?” said Ryan.

  “No, no I think I’ve got it… hang on…” Tom looked down at the keys.

  He pushed down a note or two. He looked up at me. He looked back at the keys and took a breath.

  “Tom, just leave it- “Ryan started.

  “Wait!” I cut him off. “He’s almost there, I can see it.”

  Tom took a few more seconds to look at the keys. He then plunged his fingers into them and blasted out the opening salvo. It was amazing. He then flicked a switch on his keys and did it again, this time not only were the keys perfect but the board emitted a sharper tone.

  “I’ve never understood how you can do that.” I said.

  “What?” he looked up.

  “Play something after hearing it once, it’s madness. You’re a genius.” I said.

  “This is the same genius who had a twenty-quid bet with me that the world would end in 2012.” Ryan added.

  “But there was loads of proof it would happen!” said Tom.

  “Look let’s just practice it?”

  Ryan sighed and pulled his guitar strap over his shoulder. I turned to Tom and nodded. He counted us in.

  “One, two, three…”

  It was good, genuinely a good track. Ryan knew he was beat as I reached the final chorus and we were all going full blast as if we were closing a festival set. As I chanted the final words over and over again and the song concluded Ryan strummed us to the close. The music died down and I looked over my shoulder at him.

  “Fine. It’s in. But if it gets nothing there’s no way we’re keeping it for October.”

  That was good enough for me.

  Being back in our old university building was a strange feeling. Like going to your childhood home and finding a new younger, better-looking family had moved in. Moments before we were due to take the stage I’d been peeking out from behind the curtain, trying to spot you and Charlie. I didn’t think it would be too hard as I assumed Charlie would be sat in a protective bubble seeing as students surrounded her. But no, I could not find either of you. I was beginning to wonder whether or not you’d actually shown up considering you were still mad at me. Before I could let this worry stagnate however another concern had struck me.

  “They’re all kids!” I said as I turned back to Ryan and Tom.

  “And?” Ryan said.

  “They’re not going to know any of our tunes. We’ve got a shit load of 80s and 90s, some of these lot won’t even remember the Millennium.”

  “Well it’s too late now.” Tom said.

  Shit. I started pacing back and forth, now I had to worry about the audience, you, and the gut-churning pre-show nerves. I racked my brain to try and think of something we could use to hook them. When did TV shows stop having great theme tunes? Just as I was trying to work out whether or not F.R.I.E.N.D.S. would appeal to a load of pimple-faced Millennials a voice came from the speakers dotted around the room.

  “And please welcome to the stage, Who’s That Band!”

  A polite clap came from the waiting youth jury, I swallowed deeply and pushed the curtain to one side. The spotlight hit me fiercely in the face and for a moment it felt like it was just the three of us in the room. I took a few extra steps up to the microphone, which gave a chance for Tom to get behind his keys and Ryan to adjust his strap. I took one final deep breath before pressing my lips to the microphone and opening my mouth.

  “Hello everyone. Thanks for coming out tonight. We’re Who’s That Band.” I paused for a moment and scanned the room. “We’ve got some oldies for you tonight, looking at you all instead of Who’s That Band, tonight we might as well be What’s That Song.”

  A small laugh came back at me. Enough time for me to pause and look around again, and it was at this point I spotted you and Charlie sat front and centre once again, it seemed to be your spot at our gigs. I smiled at you, and you returned one. That calmed me a bit.

  “So, without further ado, here’s the first song none of you will know.”

  Four songs later I was flying. Probably thanks to the Internet the younger generation are much better versed in the songs of ten, fifteen, even twenty years ago than any generation before them. And they were nodding along and clapping to our selection that evening. Now that we’d conquered that hurdle it was time for me to try and conquer my own.

  “Thank you, thanks very much.” I said as Ryan played the closing notes to Candy. I paused for a moment. I knew Ryan and Tom would be looking at me concerned, as we hadn’t planned a break here. “This next song is for my girlfriend Erin.” An ‘aww’ was emitted from somewhere in the audience. “Alright, it’s not pantomime. Anyway, this is for you, it’s Who Let the Dogs Out.” A different sound came from them this time, more of an ‘ooo’. “I’m joking, I’m joking. You know I love you.” Shit. I stammered over my next words. What had I just said? “Yeah this one’s called Bang Bang.”

  Tom pushed down on his keys and started the opening beat. I stood transfixed on the spot staring out into the audience. I couldn’t bring myself to look at you. I kept focused on the back of the audience, I daren’t look down to the front row. I was completely lost for a moment. Thankfully Ryan’s riff starting brought me back to where we were and I grabbed at the microphone a bit too quickly and launched into the opening.

  “Bang, bang baby. Shake, shake sugar.

  I don’t know you, but I kinda thinka shoulda.

  Your lips are making me lose control,

  and damn those eyes are gunna make me fall, ow!

  I saw you out at night, when I should be in a slumber,

  I came to say hello and see if I could get ya number…”

  Sitting backstage after the gig, Tom and Ryan were bouncing with excitement.

  “Seriously, one of the best gigs we’ve ever had.” Said Tom.

  “And Jim, Bang Bang, you were right man it just works we’ll keep it.” added Ryan.

  I’d barely heard a word they were saying, I was sat down staring at my post-gig beer. I’d begun to peel the label off. Had I really just told my girlfriend I love her for the first time in front of an audience? Fucking hell.

  “I think it should be an opener.” Said Tom. “It’s so upbeat to start with, I reck it would really get ‘em going at the start.”

  “Well I’m up for that, Jim?” asked Ryan.

  “Yeah, yeah sure.” I said.

  I stood up and took another deep swig from my beer. I dropped the empty bottle in the bin and reached for the door.

  “Where you off?”

  “Just going to go for a smoke mate.”

  I marched down the corridor with my eyes focused clearly on the exit. To my left were a small group of students who nodded and smiled at me as I passed. I kept on for the door and pushed it open once I was in arm’s length of it. Unfortunately, I’ll never know if that cigarette would’ve calmed me down or not as the second I opened the door to the alley, I was greeted by you.

  “Oh hi.” I said.

  “I just put Charlie in a taxi, she wasn’t feeling well.”

  “Did someone sneeze twelve miles away?”

  “Funny.”

  “Do you want one?” I asked, as I pulled a packet of cigarettes from my pocket.

  “Please.”

  We stood in silence for a moment as we both awkwardly took turns lighting up and taking a deep drag. I walked over to a nearby wall and hitched myself onto it, before motioning for you to join me.

  “You were good tonight.”

  “Thanks, yeah Ryan and Tom think it was one of the best gigs we’ve done.”

  “Yeah I liked i
t.”

  “You did?”

  “Course I did.”

  “Even Bang Bang?” I laughed.

  “Yep. Glad you didn’t point me out in the crowd though.”

  “Would you have been embarrassed?”

  “Yes, and everyone would’ve been looking at me when you said you loved me for the first time.”